Shameless self promotion

As it says over there on the right, I'm also a published author, albeit modestly published. I just got a poem in a new little journal called Yes, Poetry.

Enjoy!

I probably shouldn't share this

I just did a one hour webinar about online marketing from a terrific guy named Adam Lapsevich from Digital Design Video, in nearby Chagrin Falls, Ohio.  I learned some really cool stuff, like YouTube is the number 2 search engine in the world. And what WIIFT means. And that there are only two Adam Lapseviches in the whole world. 

One thing I learned is that I may need to move my blog to another host (shh, don't tell Blogspot). Another thing is that by doing this blog I'm off to a good start, but I need to do more networking. So all of you get out there and link to me. Link, link, link. Actually at no point in the webinar did Adam instruct us to beg you to link us, I made that one up myself. I'll pass it along to Adam and see if he wants to add it. 

Check out Adam on his website and see if maybe he can help you in your marketing.

And now that I've shared this with you I've given away my competitive advantage. Alas.

An interview with Puddin Pop

On Facebook,  which is the newest, coolest way to ignore people you don't like, I have become friends with the Humane Society of Greater Akron. Granted, I was invited via a third party, second generation, round-about intermediary, but nonetheless, we're friends. 

The best thing about being friends with them is I get pictures of cute animals on my Facebook page on a regular basis. Today's pet of the day is Puddin Pop (they left off the apostrophe so I did too). Puddin Pop is a cat and here is their description of her (dictated, no doubt, by Puddin Pop):

Hi, my name is Puddin Pop. I am about one year old. I recently came back from foster care where I had the chance to flourish. I can be a little shy in the shelter, but in my foster home I was very friendly and sought out attention. I love to play with cats so a home with at least one other active cat is preferred but ...not mandatory. There are many cat friends at the shelter I can pick out as a partner if you don't already have one:-) Please share me with all your Facebook friends and hopefully I will find a forever home soon....

 

Puddin Pop is cute, to be sure, but the thing that makes her extra cute is her name. In fact I had doubts about the veracity of her name so I Facebook chatted Puddin Pop for an interview.

Me: So, Puddin Pop, you look pretty cute there on the Humane Society Facebook page. 

PP: Thanks, John, I am pretty cute.

Me: I have to ask, Puddin Pop is not your real name, is it?

PP: Umm, what do you mean?

Me: I mean, Puddin Pop is a made up name to make people like you, am I right?

PP: Well...

Me: Puddin Pop is a sham, is it not?

PP: Thumbscrew

Me: What?

PP: My original name was Thumbscrew. My first owners were Goth.

Me: I see

PP: I had a black leather litter box and a tail stud, which has since been removed. 

Me: Ouch! 

PP: Tell me about it.

Me: So, Puddin Pop is a better name. 

PP: One of the volunteers came up with it. The volunteers here are really nice.

Me: Is it hard to remember to answer to a different name, Puddin Pop?

PP: I'm sorry, were you talking to me?

Me: Ha ha.

PP: Sorry.

Me: One last question, what do you think about dogs?

PP: I think they're stupid, but who else are you going to have take the blame for getting into the garbage?

 Me: Thanks, Puddin Pop.

PP: You're welcome. And adopt me soon, someone out there reading this, preferably with a huge cat bed near a sunny window, with a bazillion cat toys and a weakness for slipping pets a piece of their sandwich. 

(Note: Portions of this post may have been embellished for entertainment purposes.)

Dog Toy of the Month

My wife went to a veterinary conference, and part of the fun of that is the huge exhibit hall they have with vendors of anything from antibiotics to x-ray machines. She collects brochures, business cards, pens, To-Do lists, and those red and white mints that don't quite satisfy your sweet tooth and only make your breath smell fresh for ninety seconds. She gets to watch videos of the latest in laser equipment and ultrasounds, and practice her polite smile that tells the salesperson, "No thanks, I'm not interested in hog castration tools today."

She also likes to find the latest in toys for our dog, Titus, while she's there. One year she brought home a set of purple toys made by Premier, which have lasted very well through vigorous chewing. But this year she found the best ever. It's called a Bouncy Bone, with a ball made of the indestructible purple rubber in the middle, and nylon ends. One of the nylon ends unscrews and you place a "gnawhide" disc on it and screw it back together. The disc is made of cornstarch and probably flavored like a steak dinner or one of your tennis shoes.

This is Titus enjoying his Bouncy Bone

[Dog Toy of the Month is a periodic feature of Aurora Boardealis and is not to be confused with Toy Dog of the Month, which will celebrate a tiny canine we have met.].

How to Play the Cymbals

I was asked to sit in with The Suburban Symphony for an upcoming concert. I am a percussionist--if we use the term loosely—and I've been playing with them for several years. If you go to the website, listen to the excerpts, and hear various crashes, clangs, booms and tinkles, that's likely me. Tinkle, by the way, refers to triangle sounds and not, erm, the other thing.

Wednesday I went to a rehearsal as a last minute sub for a guy named Joe Adato. Joe, for those who don't know, is retired from the Cleveland Orchestra. He plays all percussion but his main job there was cymbalist. (I'm not sure cymbalist is a word but I'm using it anyway. Makes me think of Efrem Zimbalist Jr, or his daughter, Stephanie. I liked Stephanie.). He has the most amazing collection of cymbals, some of which I've had the opportunity to play. There really is a difference.

He came on Wednesday to assist me in learning the part. It turned into a lesson. I hear you laughing. Cymbal lessons. Ha! Anyone can play cymbals.. Even a monkey.

Yes, that is exactly what I look like when I play the cymbals, except I'm in better focus.

Cymbal playing is thirsty work so this is what I look like after

So anyway, Joe gave me some tips, and some really excellent advice, but I learned more from the things he didn't say.

I had set up my stand with my music and had placed some mallets on the stand in front of the music. It's a very inconvenient arrangement, which I would never do for a performance, but which I felt would be okay for this rehearsal since the page turn came in the middle of about 30 measures of rest. The plan was to start counting the rests, remove the mallets, turn the page, replace the mallets and continue counting. No problem—it was rehearsal.

"Where are your mallets?" Joe said.

I pointed. "Right here."

He found a chair, borrowed a towel, and made a mallet stand for me, while I stood there and tried to think of a way to make myself look not stupid.

"You can't have your mallets on your stand like that." he said.

Lesson1: Treat every rehearsal like a performance.

When I'm asked to play, my normal routine is to get a copy of the music, download a version from iTunes., and work on it.  The more difficult or exposed or important my part is, the more time I spend on it until I feel I know the music. I play the CD in my car over and over until I can sing along. It usually works out, but I don't really "know" the music. Since for this I was a last minute replacement I hadn't had a chance to prepare, but I was assured it was easy enough.

Partway through Shostakovich's 5^th symphony, Joe wanted to demonstrate for me. All along he'd been humming the melodies and counter melodies and using his hands to cue in the various parts, as a conductor would do, and many of us know the music well enough to do some of that. But not well enough to play it without music. When he took the cymbals I pointed to the page, as if to advise him where we were.

"I know where we are." And he proceeded to play to the end without the music. Perfectly. Beautifully. He confessed to one bad crash but on a scale of 1 to ten it was probably an 8.75.

Lesson 2: Know the music so you can play the music.

I have no illusions that I could ever learn classical pieces as well as someone who has been doing it for decades, but it reiterates something I learned from a wonderful trumpeter named Doc Levy. Doc always said, "Don't play the notes, play the music." Joe didn't need the notes because he didn't play them.

If at any time in my life I'd ever taken a moment to dream I could have been a professional musician, all I have to do is look at how good actual professional musicians are and I know the gap is too wide. I was born with some talent and I had parents who spent a lot of money on lessons, but I wasn't born with 'it.'  'It' is the combination of talent and desire necessary to rise to the top in a crowded and competitive field. "It' is a gift and it was not given to me.

But I'm good in my own way, for the things I am happy doing. I play with people I like and who like me, and we make other people happy by giving them live music. It's my small way to make the world a little better, one cymbal crash at a time. And I'm okay with that.

Musical cats, not to be confused with the musical 'Cats.'

The internet is chock full of videos of pets doing stuff. I think it's why the internet was invented. I feel it's my duty to pass these along when I find them, since what greater purpose can a blog have? 

Here we have a cat playing a theremin. So you don't have to look up what a theremin is, it's an electronic instrument that made all the cool sounds in the Beach Boys' Good Vibrations. I read once the inventor of the theremin wanted it to gain acceptance equal to oboes and violins, and one day gain a spot in every concert orchestra, but alas, it's really just a cool toy. 

At the close of the video, there is a link to another video which shows you how to build your own tiny theremin, in about a minute, which is the first clue that a theremin can never be the equal of a violin. It takes hours and hours just for the violin glue to set.

Anyway, here is my first embedded video. Wish me luck.

A few words about the Olympics

Just a few words on the Olympics.

First, I hate when the Olympics ends. When the IOC guy says, "I now declare this Olympics closed, and call upon the athletes of the world to meet again in four years in (insert city here)" I feel real sadness. I invest a lot of emotion into the successes and failures of a bunch of people I don't normally even know exist, and I genuinely miss that involvement. Plus, now we're stuck watching the rest of the closing ceremonies.

I will be happy, though, to get my evenings back. And all those hours spent watching curling.

Curling. How is it I missed this sport for all these years? Official description of curling: slide a hefty stone over some ice and try to be closest to the center of a circle. Some helpers will use a broom to (wait, don't fall asleep I'm almost done) guide the stone until it stops. What curling actually is: a game of complex strategy that even after a hundred hours of watching on TV with knowledgeable commentators, you will not understand, but which you will not be able to tear yourself away from due to amazing shotmaking and unbelievable drama. Yes, I love curling. I think one person described why it's kind of caught on. It seems like something anyone can do. I even looked up local curling clubs. There is one in South Euclid but I really have no intention of trying it. I have a lot on my plate, and who needs to spend money on the latest in Norwegian curling pants? I think I'll remain content to be a spectator.

Anthems. I love 'The Star Spangled Banner.' It's the most rousing anthem I've ever heard. It's distinct and energetic and it's a great song, even though more than half of Americans cannot sing it over it's full range without going into falsetto or just mouthing the high parts. But at the end of the men's curling finals, when the game was pretty much in hand, the crowd of about 5,000 spontaneously burst into 'O, Canada,' and it was beautiful. I cannot imagine a U.S crowd bursting into 'The Star Spangled Banner.' And for a few minutes I felt envious that we didn't have an anthem that was so lovely and so easy to just start singing as 'O, Canada.' then I remembered we do. We have two actually. 'God bless America' and 'America (the Beautiful).' Either of those would be perfect for an impromptu serenade. Both are lovely and both are easily sung by all but the worst of us. I prefer 'America' personally, and some have suggested that we make that our national anthem but I don't agree. Our current anthem, despite its unsingability, and despite the fact that it's written in waltz time, is perfect. If you cannot sing it, then just mouth the words like most of the rest of us.