So you think you're already tired of Christmas music?

This is the time of year when people look forward to holiday concerts. At venues all over the area, local musical groups put on free and not so free performances of all your holiday favorites. You can hear concert bands at nursing homes, bell choirs in the gazebo on the town square, choruses in the mall, and small combos in whatever cafe nooks they can find. There is nothing like live music, which sets the tone for the season, and creates the backdrop for the memories we carry with us always.

But as you're just now starting to find your way to the live musical performances, we musicians have been rehearsing for weeks. One of the groups I play in began the holiday repertoire in early October, so we could be ready by this week, when we play the first of five concerts. Another of the groups I'm in (neither group is blog friendly, in that they do not have a web presence I can link to) started in late October. My friend's bell choir started weeks ago.

I've rehearsed Frosty the Snowman 6 times so far, The Christmas Song 5 times, Festive Sounds of Hanukkah (my personal favorite to play) 7 times and the Nightmare Before Christmas about 15 (it was new and we really needed the work on it). There was also a piece called the Eighth Candle (or something like that), with a tricky 5/8 time that we never polished up enough to present in public. Maybe next year.

You would think we're sick of it, but I can tell you we are not. I guess I cannot speak for all my band mates, but I've been playing Christmas and Hanukka music for almost 20 years now and I'm never tired of it. But I can say I don't listen to much of it on the radio until the last few days before Christmas. And since I rarely shop, I'm not subjected to the overhead music inspiring me to buy, buy, buy.

Here's what you can do to help your local musicians, Show up. Listen, Applaud. That's all we ask. It makes weeks of rehearsal completely worth it.

When Black Friday Comes I'm Going to Stake My Claim

Black Friday starts at midnight and this song won't get out of my head. All you shoppers who are heading out for the deal of the century, enjoy one of my favorite bands

My Cat is Trying to Kill Me

I have sleep apnea, and I use one of those CPAP machines at night. For those who do not know, the CPAP forces pressurized air into my nose via a mask I wear that makes me look like I have a monkey on my face (I stole that analogy--thanks LIE).

I have woken up with my machine turned off and I recently discovered why. My cat sits on it and pushes the off button. I think it's on purpose. He doesn't understand that the mask is designed to let me breath when the machine goes off, or else there'd be a rash of suffocation deaths every time someone crashed into a power pole. Every time he turns it off I eventually wake up and turn it back on, saying, 'Nice try, Custard.' He's undeterred. He must really have it out for me. And I'm not even the one who gives him sub Q fluids every other night.

The Great Bridge Repair of 2011

On September 19, they closed a bridge a mile west of our place. Totally closed it, complete with a 5 mile detour. Kind of a pain, if our destination was points west, such as Twinsburg, Hudson, Akron, Macedonia or Missouri. In fact driving to Missouri was sufficiently more difficult that we avoided it altogether.

The bridge crews were kind enough to put large detour signs up for the motorists, to keep them from making wasted trips all the way to the bridge, which was a solid mile and a half from the nearest alternate route. Yet, people ignored those signs in droves. We had a game where we sat at the end of our driveway and watched the cars head west, brake, turn around, and come back. In any given five minute period three or four cars would do this. One of us even got out of her car and waved at them as they doubled back. And once, while I was getting the mail, I shouted at a passing car with an open window, 'IT'S REALLY CLOSED.' It didn't help,

The inconvenience of the detour was lessened a tiny bit by the fact that our road was so quiet.  It's a state route, with a 50 MPH speed limit. There is always traffic. But with the bridge out, you could literally stand in the middle of the road for minutes until someone who believes detour signs aren't for them drove by. I really liked it. But only until I had to drive the 2 miles to Twinsburg and leave 10 minutes earlier.

So today I drove down to the bridge to see how it was going, and there were guys painting stripes. I asked when it would be open and he said, "In about 20 minutes, as soon as the paint dries." Sweet!

So now the traffic has picked up and our pastime of making fun of people who were texting instead of watching detour signs is over. Just in time for Thanksgiving. We have a lot of people bringing a lot of dogs and this will make it easier.

And it will mean that 2 college kids will get home ten minutes earlier for Thanksgiving break. Good news all around.

Tomorrow is National Vicheyssoise Day

Today my wife tells me of a Facebook post by our nephew who is in college. He noted that today is Homemade Bread Day. Actually this is what he said: "Today is National Homemade Bread Day.....too bad I'm hungry now and can't wait 3 hours for a sandwich."

Pretty funny.

Then I wondered when was the last time he's ever made bread? My guess it's never, which means it would be a lot more than 3 hours before he had anything to spread his peanut butter on, especially considering that where he lives (his grandmother's house) has none of the following: bread flour, yeast, loaf pan, a suitable place to knead.

Coincidentally, four hours before I even knew it was Homemade Bread Day, I tossed some flour, yeast, eggs, butter, and water into the stand mixer and started a batch of challah. I've been on a challah kick lately, trying to find a good recipe. So right about the time I was being told about Homemade Bread Day, we were cracking open a beautiful yellow loaf, crusty on the outside and soft on the inside.

So, back to the title. Tomorrow really is National Vicheyssoise Day. (which I'll be skipping). And yesterday was National Baklava Day (sorry I missed that). And the day after tomorrow is Carbonated Beverage with Caffeine Day. I swear. Look it up. It turns out every day of the year has a food dedicated to it. Some have a week or a whole month. But who decided papaya gets a whole month (September) while chocolate milk shakes get only a day (September 12)? Oh, the healthy foods get preference you say? How about Brownies at Brunch getting a month (August) while zucchini gets August 8? How many days a week do people even eat brunch?

And what were people thinking who designated Aug 3 as Grab Some Nuts Day?

There are literally 200 good jokes waiting to happen on that list of national food days. And I will be waiting, typing fingers poised,  for National Roast Suckling Pig Day (Dec.18) if only for the awesome blog entry it may yield.  

My Public Service Good Deed for the Day

Because of my published writing, this blog, and my website, plus the kennel website and the various other ways I've weaseled myself into the internet, I signed up for a service called Google Alerts, which scours the internet for search terms I have provided and emails me with the results. For example, I have it set up to keep an eye open for any time 'John Sharp' comes up. So on a given morning I will have an email listing the happenings of all the John Sharps important enough to make the web.

There are three John Sharps that I hear about the most: former State of Texas comptroller and current Texas A&M University Chancellor, John Sharp; Kansas City Councilman John Sharp; and Peoria journalist John Sharp. After that, most of the John Sharps are obituaries, like John D. Sharp from Los Angeles, which always make me a little sad.

It will also return hits where 'John' and 'Sharp' and in the same paragraph. It's just Google being thorough, I guess. 

But sometimes it shows me me, like when I am published someplace. The best part is that one of the times I didn't even know I was published and I had to have words with the publisher. It's bad form to publish without notification.

And a couple of times it found where I was mentioned in a blog.

I know it's not perfect, though. Sometimes after I am published I wait and wait for my Google alert and it never comes. It makes me feel like the internet has forgotten about me. But I also know that all the John Sharps in the world who have set up their own Google Alerts will be flashed a notice when one day my obit wends it way across the interwebs. I hope it makes them feel a little bit sad.

So now that I've written John Sharp enough times to spark a dozen Google Alerts, I'll leave you to set up your own Google Alerts so you can keep track of yourself. So long as your name isn't Barack Smith or David Obama, you won't get too many hits.

HBD LMS

One of our valued employees has a birthday today.

Lauren, take a bow.

If she were here, I'd make her dump the poop buckets.

We have this family tradition where the birthday celebrant gets the Big Birthday Weekend Extravaganza.  The weekend closest to his or her birthday is centered around that person, where he/she gets to choose meals and stuff. Both my kids are away and we're having their extravaganzas without them.

Goodnight, Champ

I was in eighth grade when the first Frazier--Ali fight happened.  It was all we talked about. A lot of my friends loved the fast talking, boastful Ali, but I liked Frazier. He was a no nonsense bull of a man and I liked the way he just went about his job without all the showmanship.

RIP Smokin' Joe

Toy of the Day

Did you ever want a dog toy that talked to your dog, so you didn't have to?  Babble Ball comes with pre-programmed phrases and wisecracks and when your dog goes near it, it turns itself on and talks to him. It's activated by vibration or even the dog breathing on it. They have different sizes, and some for cats, ferrets and birds.

Here's a video of a dog being "entertained' by one that makes bird sounds. .



I have to wonder if by the time the people get home, will this dog be a complete basket case? Maybe there are some dogs that shouldn't have one.

Sunday Chuckle

This

 is a what? .

Don't ask me, I stole this picture from Facebook (thanks Michelle Rizzo) (wait, Michelle is an Aurora police officer so I didn't steal it I, um, found it lying in the street, next to my house, no wait, it followed me home, yeah, that's it, it followed me home), but feel free to make up your own joke.

Best line so far is from Mike Tinlin of the Tinlin Team: "I can't hear you when you're behind me."

An Interview with Victor

 Victor, is a 9 year old shepherd-retriever mix, currently staying at the Humane Society of Greater Akron, waiting for a new home.  November is Adopt a Senior Pet Month, and Victor hopes someone out there is looking for a dog just like him. I spent a few minutes with Victor this week.


Aurora Boardealis:  Let me first say how great you look for being nine. What's your secret?

Victor: I go easy on the vices, ya know? I don't smoke, and I only drink out of the toilet on weekends. I gotta stay on top of my game for the ladies.

AB: You're still chasing the ladies?

V: Are you kidding? Look around. There's some real knockouts here, let me tell you. See that collie over there? She checks me out every time I go for my walks.

AB She is kind of pretty.

V: Back off, pal. I saw her first.

AB: No problem. Let me ask you, how did you get the name, Victor?

V: My first home, they was Michigan fans, and they named me after their stupid fight song, 'Hail to the Victors.'

AB: Oh man, that's terrible.

V: Tell me about it. One time they was watching the game and when the band started playing I went over and peed on the TV.

AB: You're my new favorite dog.

V: Did I mention I like cats?

AB: No, but the people at the Humane Society did. Why is that?

V: I don't know, they're just so soft and cuddly. Plus, the chicks really dig a guy who likes cats.

AB: Listen, it's been good meeting you. I hope you find a forever home soon.

V: Thanks for coming by. Say, can you sneak me over with that collie?

AB: I don't think so.

V: Come on man, just this once.

AB: All right, I'm going to leave now.



Victor is available for interviews at the Humane Society of Greater Akron. Please go check out him, and all the other wonderful older dogs and cats who are looking for a home just like yours.

When trees attack

A couple of nights ago I heard a huge racket outside. I went outside and since it was dark I couldn't see much. Here's what it looked like in the morning




A huge maple tree, which had never been pruned properly, split off and fell, stripping branches off the pine tree and landing on the garage. Fortunately it looks like maybe only a shingle or two were lost, and maybe some minor repair to some wood, but the pine tree really took the brunt of it.

Here's looking up from the base toward the pine




The trunk is about 18 inches in diameter at the base.

Here's a closeup of the damage to the brave pine tree




And yes, this blue sky really is in Ohio in November. It's a perfect day.  Except for the whole tree falling on another tree and garage thing.

Blogapalooza 2011

Today I discovered, via the Facebook post of a denizen of Toronto and probable future family member (this is shaping up to be a grammatically torturous sentence but I'm going to keep going), that November is National Blog Posting Month, aka NaBloPoMo. It's a sister to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), and NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month). During November, bloggers are encouraged to produce a post a day, every day.

This leaves several areas writing still without their own month.We are yet to see:
NaTechWriMo--(National Technical Writers Month). Daily task: translate from Taiwanese to English one manual on assembling a swingset.

NaRaSpoWriMo--(National Radio Spot Writing Month). Daily task: write one 30 second commercial for a local car dealer that does NOT include the words big, giant, deal, low, money down, lease, APR or the name of any make of car.

NaInfWriMo--(National Infomercial Writing Month). Daily task: Try to sell us something using words that sound great when shouted repeatedly.

NaTOSWriMO--(National Terms of Service Writing Month). Daily task:  Write 40 pages of legalese in 2 point font size, followed by a click box that says 'I Agree.'

NaChaSignLiYoSeAtMufShoWriMo--(National Changeable Sign Like You See at Muffler Shops Writing Month). Daily task: One message that is short enough to make us want to read it, but long enough to make reading it dangerous. 

NaMenBorSpecWriMo--(National Menu Board Specials Writing Month). Daily task: Try to make a new way to say 'Yesterday's stuff chopped up and put into a nice sauce.'


So I'm on board for this whole blog-a-day thing. I expect some posts to be brilliant, and some to be drivel (isn't that the usual ratio anyway?), but they'll be here, even on Thanksgiving (which my Canadian friend doesn't have to worry about).

See you tomorrow.